What on earth did I just watch??!?
So, I just watched the first episode of “The Middleman” (2008). It was free on iTunes, although there’s a fair chance I would have paid for it after seeing the “probes” fake-PSA promo.
Now…this is a show that’s airing on ABC Family. I mostly make a habit of not watching stuff that airs on basic-cable channels with “Family” in their name, but I figured, hey, maybe it’s time to overcome that bias.
Well, it looks like maybe ABC Family is overcoming that bias as well, because this show has a lot of creepy and/or bizarre and/or not-really-family-appropriate bits in it.
Let’s start with the outfits. The Middleman and Wendy are dressed in what can only be described as fascist paramilitary uniforms that are 2-3 sizes too small. In the case of The Middleman, the effect — especially when coupled to the mannerisms and the hair, make it almost impossible for me not to think he’s a crossover character from Torchwood. Seriously, he is *exactly* Jack Harkness’s type. (Well, one of them.)
Wendy’s outfit, which is tighter in slightly different ways, is kind of lesbian-ish, although it’s also pretty hot. Her sexuality is questioned, by the way, if only in passing, as is that of her boyfriend.
Outside the fairly queer character design, most of the subversive (or something) bits crop up in throwaway dialogue. Some gems:
* “Hentai tentacle monster”
* “Smoking reefer”
* “What’s it like being someone’s beard?”
* “I avoided a giant rectum”
* “Drop their cargo” (I believe this was a euphemism for defecation)
* “Are we making a movie?” “Kinda.” “Kinky. Should I break out the feather boa and the accordion?”
* “That was some darn fine cow-squirt.”
There’s also a nice bit where Middleman pulls many, many awkwardly and/or phallically shaped weapons from his…person. And another where a pole-dancer is olged by a banana craving super-intelligent ape. Also, there’s a fair amount of cursing. The cursing is comically bleeped and the characters’ mouths are black-boxed, which is really quite funny, but all the same, it’s pretty clear what the content is.
Hentai? Beards? Sex tapes? Does this really sound like what you expect from ABC Family? Because if so, I definitely need to watch more ABC Family programming. And I don’t really know what to make of “cow-squirt.”
None of this, by the way, addresses the question of whether the show is good or not. I find subtle notes of perversity petty endearing, and I’ll probably keep tuning in until ABC’s standards and practices figures out what’s going on. I’m also a sucker for anything in which super-science goes awry, so I might even watch without the subversion…maybe.
As to the *quality* of the show, though — I’m satisfied with the level of the acting (it fits the b-movie tone of the show), and the writing is pretty funny. However, the timing is atrocious — whether due to bad editing or bad directing, I don’t know. It’s stilted and awkward, and it really calls for some radio-era sound effects.
Timing is something that can (and generally does) improve over the life of a show, so I can probably justify a fair degree of optimism on that front.
::shrug:: I’ll hope for the best.